The Big Follicle
March 04, 2020

Shaq grew out his hairline after losing a bet to Dwayne Wade and the results are horrifying

The Exorcist, Psycho, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Saw, Hereditary. These are widely regarded as some of the most terrifying films of all time. They've tingled spines and chilled bones for years—decades even. But they all look like Blue Clues when compared to this footage of Shaq's grown-in hairline, which made its traumatizing debut on Inside the NBA last night. Viewer discretion strongly advised.

We're sorry you had to see that. Truly we are. But this is a burden we simply couldn't bear on our own. It looks like how hipsters wore their beanies in 2009, except it's actual human hair. Excuse us while we LloydChristmasGag.gif.

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Apparently Shaq's new look—the first time we've seen him with any meaningful follicles since the Orlando Magic days—is the product of a lost bet with Dwayne Wade. Shaq bet D-Wade that the Bucks would beat the Heat by 20 on Monday night, but unfortunately for Shaq (and people with eyesight all across the globe), the Heat took the W 105-89. When Shaq asked D-Wade if he wanted money for the wager, D-Wade replied no. He wanted Shaq to grow his hairline out. And so here we are.

Kudos to Shaq for owning it though. "I look good," he said. "I'm proud do it and I'm keeping it all week." Something tell us he'd be singing a much different tune if Chuck were on set, however.