Life comes at you fast. One second you're hanging out on-set, drinking in the summer sunset like a cold glass of sweet tea. The next, you're coming to with carpet burns on your chin and Fox cameras trained directly at your shame. Just ask this poor SunTrust Park security guard. He'll tell you all about it, man.
All of this went down on Tuesday night during a live broadcast on Fox Sports South. The Braves we're taking on their dreaded division rivals the Nationals in a semi-meaningful NL East showdown, when this junior investment analyst asshat wearing a SUIT at a BASEBALL GAME decided pledge his love of Bryce Harper—the favorite player of all junior investment analyst asshats, it should be said—on live TV. Dirty Harry wasn't gonna let that slide, however. Not on his watch, no sir. So he took off, lumbering into the shot like a runaway bison before tripping over some equipment cables (or possibly himself). He fell for seemingly hours, before landing on Twitter with a thud.
No injuries were reported and Tiny Bryce Harper Jersey Man remains at large.