You know what the biggest problem with rugby is? They don't wear helmets. You know what happens when you don't wear helmets? You get in the head a lot. You know what happens when you get hit in the head a lot? You end up like this English rugby bloke (or is it chap?), who is currently enjoying 15 seconds of fame thanks to this absolutely bonkers interview, now going viral on the world wide web. The whole thing starts innocently enough, but before you know it he's speaking in the voice of his imaginary (and "slightly Irish") horse friend who he has just climbed back upon, led to the water, and asked what it wants to do with its life ahead this week's match against Bath. Sorry if that doesn't make any sense, we're just working with what we've got here.
And yet, despite its eccentricity, this masterclass in mixed metaphors—all of them about horses, strangely enough—is somehow the most inspiring thing you will hear all week. Here is a man who truly does not give a single flying you-know-what. He has misplaced all of his marbles and replaced them with rocks and is all the better for it. Politics? Art? Food? Finance? Forget it. This is a guy who knows what he likes, and what he likes are rugby and horses. It's Braveheart, Gladiator, Rudy, and "Cleveland, this for you" rolled into one strange little ball of self-assured oddity, and we love literally every single second of it.
Of course, something this bizarre wouldn't be complete without a third-act plot twist, and thankfully it delivers. "Are you looking forward to getting back on that horse,?" asks the interviewer. "It's been six months since we last saw you..."
"I don't like horses," replies the man who just spent the last minute of his life talking about horses. "I can't ride."