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This referee chowing down on skittles mid-game is our college football star of the week

September 27, 2021

We rag on referees quite a bit here at The Loop, a sentence that usually precedes an apology for being too harsh. That's not what's about to happen here, though. Zebras across college football and the NFL still stunk at their jobs this past weekend, and, last we checked, they get to keep their jobs and continue being bad at it next week, too. Must be nice.

And yet, against all odds, an official from the pig-slop fest of a game that was Louisville-Florida State on Saturday has earned the elusive college football star of the week title, but not for swallowing a whistle or putting a flag back in his pocket or overturning a bogus targeting call. The ref we'd like to heap praise on is the ref who was straight up CHOWING down on a bag of Skittles in the middle of the Seminoles-Cardinals game. Marshawn Lynch must be so proud:

The best part about this, other than the fact he's literally eating candy while officiating a college football game, is when he's eating the candy. Notice the time on the clock - 2:09 left ... in the FIRST quarter. It'd be one thing if it was the second half and our guy here was hungry or he simply saw a bag of Skittles in the referee room at halftime and brought it out with him for the second half. He's munching away 13 minutes into the game like a little kid who was told "do NOT open that bag until you've eaten your dinner," only for the little kid to sneak away and shovel a handful down when no one is looking. A truly wild move that we respect the hell out of. 

By the way, not that anyone cares, FSU dropped this one 31-23, falling to 0-4 on the season. The Noles have now lost a non-conference thriller, an FCS hail mary debacle and a pair of conference games to opponents they used to smash with ease. It's like they've.... tasted the rainbow.... of defeats (*puts on sunglasses, "We Don't Get Fooled Again" starts BLARING*). 

Helmet Stickers

(In this section, we'll dole out helmet stickers for those who just missed the cut on "star of the week.")

The Michigan State fan who tried

In one of the sneaky games of the weekend, Michigan State hung on for dear life to beat a suddenly-feisty Nebraska team 23-20 in overtime. Everything seems to be coming up Sparty in 2021, as they've now moved to 17th in the AP Top 25 with three more winnable games on the schedule before a potential undefeated vs. undefeated tilt with hated-rival Michigan. The only and I mean ONLY L Michigan State has taken all season was taken by this fan in East Lansing on Saturday night. Free car on the line aaaaaaaand he's dead:

Honestly, upon on originally watching this, I was laughing the hardest at the car going in reverse back into the tunnel. If a car could speak, it was literally saying "at least you tried" by slowly backing it up under the stadium. Upon 10th and 11th viewings, though, the post-impact, potential hyperextension of the knee is too good. And since it appears he's not actually hurt, it's OK to laugh. Five helmet stickers for effort, friend. 

Kentucky sideline guy 

There were some monster hits in both the NFL and college this weekend, and all of them we're probably called for targeting or unecessary roughness or some other nonsense. The most egregious hit, however, went uncalled, and it occurred on the Kentucky sideline. Friendly fire of the highest order:

WTF, man? The a-hole in question is linebacker DeAndre Square, whose shove seen 'round the college football world has now garnered north of 2.5 million views. Any time something blows up like that, you're going to have to answer for it. Square did, swapping jerseys with the equipment dude he shoved into Row 3 after the game. Nice touch:

Rock-solid move here. Four helmet stickers for the equipment manager, three for Square, who should really watch who he's shoving next time. 

Whoever came up with this chyron

First, the point of the chyron we're about to show you - an Ohio State player named K'Vaughan Pope quit the team in the middle of the game on Saturday night. During the Buckeyes' 59-7 romp over Akron, Pope was involved in a heated moment on the sideline during the second quarter, and he promptly went to the locker room under his own volition. It was in the locker room where he began tweeting, even saying "f--- ohio state" before deleting it. Yeah, he gone. 

That made way for this chyron writer to flex their chyron-writing muscles:

Outstanding. Probably gave a number of Roman Catholic folks in Ohio a heart attack with that one. Two helmet stickers for this clever, clever shrew. 

Aaron Hansford

One helmet sticker for Texas A&M linebacker Aaron Hansford, who, unlike DeAndre Square, is much kinder when it comes to shoving others. Hansford shoved Arkansas running back AJ Green closer to the end zone on Saturday afternoon. What a nice guy!

On second thought, negative one helmet stickers. The Aggies are frauds once again. Or, to put it another way, Arkansas is for real? We'll find out on Saturday, when the Hogs roll into Sanford Stadium to take on No. 2 overall Georgia in a monstrous SEC tilt.