Tower of Terror

The actual footage of that RBC Canadian Open crane bar is a big no for us, dawg

As LIV Golf gets underway this weekend, with more name-brand players grabbing the bag by the second, suddenly the golf world has stopped asking if Norman and co. can really pull this off and started asking what the PGA Tour can do to stop the bleeding.

Well, on Thursday we got our answer, when the PGA Tour met the opening day of LIV Golf with … DEATH GOLF!

That’s the view from the so-called “Skyline Seats” at the RBC Canadian Open this weekend. Last week, we showed you the renderings of the 22-seat sky bar suspended above the 18th fairway of St. George's Golf & Country Club, but the actual footage is soooo much more terrifying than we could have possibly imagined.

For some reason—maybe just the whole “country club” thing—we thought this was going to be a refined, aristocratic Tower of Terror. Instead it’s just some chairs hanging from a crane over a parking lot. The vibes are surpsingly carny and although we enjoy a fried Oreo as much as the next person, that’s not exactly what you want while sipping a gin & tonic 100 feet above the asphalt.

But hey, drastic times call for drastic measures, and the PGA Tour certainly isn’t pulling any punches. LIV Golf can splice clips of rocket ships and cheetahs chasing gazelles into their promos all they want, but it won’t mean a damn thing when the PGA Tour is strapping fans to actual rockets at the Rocket Mortgage or taking them on safari at the John Deere. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the future of golf. We hope you brought your diapers.