We've seen plenty heartbreaking, gut wrenching misses in our day, sonny boy. We've seen misses that snatched defeat from the jaws victory and misses that traded virality for immortality right before our very eyes. Hell, it was two years ago this week that Ernie Els six putted from here:
But on Sunday, while much of America was still face down in eggs benedict, PSG forward Eric Maxim Chupo-Moting one-upped every last single stinking one of them with what is rightfully, factually being billed as the "miss of the century." Avert your eyes, ye of frail heart and weak stomach.
To simply characterize Chupo-Moting's seemingly impossible error a "miss," however, is to overlook the true gravity of what has happened. Chupo-Moting didn't simply miss from one inch, he actively stopped his own teammate from scoring. All he had to do was nothing. All he had to do was stand there and watch the ball roll over the line. Instead he chose to try to tap it in for himself, and in the process became the reason why his yet unborn children will be teased from elementary school to elementary school for years to come.
The mind-numbing decision had much larger ramifications as well. Tied at 1-1 at the time of the almost impossible failure, PSG was eventually forced to fight back for a 2-2 draw late in the second half, meaning that their long foregone Ligue 1 title would have to wait another week. Imagine doing this. Imagine it was the reason why your whole team couldn't go out and party the night away in Paris. Now step back from the ledge and remind yourself that, thank whoever or whatever you pray to, it wasn't you. Repeat after me: It. Wasn't. You.
The explanation for Chupo-Moting's now internet-wide humiliation is still wanting and probably will be forever. Maybe he had the under. Maybe some repressed defensive instincts suddenly bubbled to the surface. Maybe he was just paying to tribute to the Big Easy himself. But whatever the case may be, there's no denying the simple, painful fact: This is the worst miss in the long, miss-strewn history of humanity itself and if you don't believe us, just ask Kylian Mbappé.