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Eagles fan passes out from shouting at the Eagles, wakes up in hospital to find out they won

October 11, 2021

On Sunday, the Philadelphia Eagles earned their second win of the season. It wasn’t pretty—a 21-18 win over the Carolina Panthers—but a win’s a win, and in this case it was a mandatory one, stopping a three game slide since beating the Falcons on the opening weekend of the season. One die-hard birds fan wasn’t conscious to see it, however, dialing up the WIP Morning Show from the hospital on Monday after allegedly passing out from shouting at the Eagles too much. Pholks, we really can’t make this up.

So let’s start with the obvious stuff. A. We’re taking this caller at his word. We have no real way to verify whether or not he’s telling the truth, but it’s Philly, so we also have no real reason to believe he isn’t. B. We’re glad he’s conscious, alert, and already back to stressing on his beloved birds. Now that we have that out of the way, let us ask just one question:

COME AGAIN NOW???

Football is stressful. It can produce an elevated heart rate and light-to-moderate perspiration. Maybe you turn a throw pillow into a speed bag. Not a bad Sunday afternoon workout, all things considered. But shouting at your TV so hard you pass out and need to take a little wambulance ride to the ER is not normal. If it were, the streets of Philly would be choked with sirens each and every Sunday from September until January.

But that’s not even the half of it. Most people would wake up in the hospital, find out the team that put them there just won, and have some sort of “it’s just a game” epiphany. Jalen Hurts is not worth a triple bypass, so on, so forth. But this guy? His first response is to call into a Philly sports radio show and take a shot at Howie Roseman. We don’t know much else about this story, but we do know one thing:

That’s a level of commitment you don’t find outside the City of Brotherly Love Loathing.