Penguins fan shaves Mario Lemieux tribute into his chest hair, achieves ultimate hockey guy status

Want to see something really gross? Then look no further than beautiful Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where one random hero is making waves for the most horrifying hockey style statement ever on Thursday night: A yellow sweater with a massive, Christmas light-lined hole cut in the torso revealing a festive conifer and Mario Lemieux's iconic #66 shaved into his chest hair. If this man offers you nachos, just say no.

Now we've seen plenty of wild hockey salad over the years, from the Minnesota State High School All-Hockey Hair Team to these incredible retro renderings of modern superstars, but this is much gnarlier fare. Just look at it. LOOK AT IT. It's like he's been rubbing Rogaine on his stomach for months in preparation for this moment.

Now if you'll excuse us, we're gonna go scrub our minds-eye out with soap, because while life without Christmas trees is no problem, we're not sure what we'd do without Lemieux.