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#makememories

Patrick Reed's unhinged hashtag use called into question after bizarre Instagram post

August 28, 2023

We’re officially in no man’s land. The PGA Tour season is over. The Ryder Cup isn’t for another month. This is our one chance to clear our palate. To wipe the slate clean and get some much-needed distance from golf until things heat back up in Rome next month.

Or not.

On Monday morning, less than 12 hours into our little sabbatical—our chance to do anything we want to do and be anyone we want to be—Patrick Reed checked in on Instagram with one of the more bizarre transmissions from Camp Reed yet. Read it and (literally) weep.

Despite summer vacations, back-to-school shopping and fantasy football draft prep, Golf Twitter was powerless to resist the siren song of this doozy.

Golf aggregator account @NUCLRGOLF reposted Reed’s essay, and the ratio was practically unheard of, approaching the mythical 50/50 split.

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Most mental health professionals would probably tell us to do the medical equivalent of “go outside and touch grass.” Why are we dedicating even a sliver of emotional and mental energy on an also-ran golfer on an exhibition tour? Go for a walk. Read a book. Call your mom. Cure cancer. Do something—ANYTHING—other than this.

And yet, the post is magnetic. Like a horror movie, it gets more terrifying with each plot twist but still you can't look away.

First of all, only prisoners say things like “I was visiting with my children last night.” Is this man being held somewhere against his will? Is there a secret S.O.S embedded in this message? Also if you were "visiting" with your children, why would the main thing you talk about be the LIV Greenbrier fan experience? Different strokes for different folks, but that’s strange dinner-table talk where we come from. Also “longing”? About West Virginia?? Are we sure we’re using the right word here?

Then there’s the hashtags. Sweet fancy moses the hashtags. He says his heart was warmed by, um, #shotgunstart, #bestbroadcast and #locationlocationlocation, to name just a few of the highlights. This resembles a poorly calibrated AI with a case of the Mondays more than it does a happy father who is brimming with joy after #makingmemories with his kin.

Regardless, there’s still some good news for the Reeds. LIV Chicago tees off in just a couple of weeks. There will be #festivities and #teams. It will be a great time for the whole robot family. IYKYK.