America, stop what you're doing. The MLB Postseason is here! [GRABS HAIR AND RUNS INTO SLIDING GLASS DOOR SCREAMING]. That means flame-throwing aces and frosty nights warming your hands beside the hot dog lamps. That means dingers that go dong and bullpens that get turned to ground beef. That means hope and despair and memories of Derek Jeter diving headfirst into giant leaf piles dancing like the Philly Phanatic through our heads. It's the sweet, sweet release the last 162 excruciating, interminable extra-inning, Pacific time zone games have been building toward and baseball fans are already partying like it's 1903.
Case in point: Aaron Chewning, do-it-all digital personality/comedian-musician-cum-former-Vine-star-turned-filmaker hybrid, who took his love of the Atlanta Braves viral on Monday with this five-alarm fire (all the kids are saying it!) gangster rap tribute to the 2019 NL East Champs. Grab those headphones, your Bentley, a Sable fur cape, several strippers and a large endangered snow leopard and turn this sucker up.
Time for your Metamucil and a nap, "Sweet Caroline," because the new anthem of the MLB Playoffs is here.
Despite Chewning's sick bars—"I love like Ron like my first name's Hermione," "Acuna matata our young Nat swatter / Freddie at Citi Field saying 'I am your father'"— the Braves still have a lot to prove when it comes to elimination baseball. Between 1991 and 2005, they won an MLB-record 14-consecutive division championships and, on the back of one of the best rotations in baseball history, advanced to the World Series five times in the 1990s, winning only one. To call them the Buffalo Bills of baseball is not exactly fair, but it's not exactly wrong either.
Suffice to say, the Braves will be hoping to see their divisional foes the Nats in the NLCS after taking six of seven of them in their final season series back in September. But no matter who they get, we expect to hear "Wrecking Balls" blasting through SunTrust between innings while The Freeze collects souls like Pokemon cards or else we riot.