New Hurricanes punter is here to kick bombs and chew bubblegum, is all out of bubblegum

Signing Day sucks. It's for college football neckbeards and Urban Meyer admirers only. But every now and then, a diamond in the plainly exploitative rough emerges, and this year that diamond is actually a punter. Don't believe us? Just take a gander at the Miami Hurricanes' new Aussie special teams commando Louis Hedley and you'll see what we mean. Seriously, this dude makes Sebastian Janikowski look like Betty Crocker.

Leave it to The U—the same school responsible for The Rock, the 7th Floor Crew, and the Turnover Chain—to sign a punter who looks The Undertaker. But while the internet is preoccupied with Hedley's tattoos (it's 2019, are we seriously still talking about this?), his badass story has flown under the radar. Hedley spent eight years working as a scaffolder in the Aussie outback before finally moving stateside to punt at the City College of San Francisco in 2017, where he averaged 38.6 yards a boot. He clocks in at 6' 4", 215 pounds, is already in his mid-20s, and joins a Hurricanes punting staff that ranked 115 out of 130 FBS programs last year. Maybe he'll improve The U's 4th down program, maybe he won't, but at the very least, returners will think twice before trying to run through this dude.

When the conference schedule fires back up in September, Hedley will take on fellow ACC punters like BC's Grant Carlson...