Blue Pill

NBA prospect Lonnie Walker IV thinks we're all living in the Matrix

May 21, 2018

If you thought Kyrie's flat-earth truthing or Jordan Clarkson's belief that dinosaurs were once pets to a race of giant humans were bad, just wait, because Miami guard, hair wizard, and NBA prospect Lonnie Walker IV just issued his "hold my beer" proclamation:

Flat, round, dinosaurs, giants, whatever. It doesn't matter, because the planet earth and the lives that occupy it are all an illusion.

Before we brand Lonnie Another Dumb Jock™, however, it's worth noting that some of the most celebrated minds currently inhabiting "earth" have echoed the same sentiment, sounding off on their suspicions that this may not be reality at all, but an indistinguishably accurate simulation of reality—like The Sims, only with better graphics. There's even a reddit thread dedicated to the theory, and that's how you know something is real.

But before we get sucked too far down this wormhole and wake up with Hugo Weaving in a pair of cheap sunglasses hooking us up to an alien car battery, let's call this what it probably is: A young kid getting put on the spot at the NBA Combine and blurting out something he's read a few fascinating (if entirely unsubstantiated) articles about on the wild worldwide web. Otherwise he seems soft spoken, thoughtful, and articulate, so hopefully he doesn't need our help to realize that if this world were really a simulation, it wouldn't nearly this shitty.

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