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Natural Light has a 77-pack now...and it costs less than a box of Pro V1s

October 11, 2018

Ladies and gentleman, esteemed colleagues and valued peers, gather round. We have news. Joyous, hopeful news: Natural Light, proud purveyors of liquid somewhat resembling beer, have rolled out the world's first-ever 77 pack to Maryland students ahead of this weekend's homecoming. The keg is dead, long live the keg:

To make matters even more ridiculous, Natty Light is selling this bad boy for a very cool $30.99 (Rovell prices it at $34.99 above, but both BroBible and Whiskey Riff have confirmed a SRP of $30.99). That's roughly 40 cents a beer, which Anheuser Busch brews by wringing out brewery mops into aluminum cans. Unfortunately for the rest of America's card-carrying townies and college degenerates, the 77-can chugzilla is exclusive to College Park for now, but nonetheless a few in-the-wild sightings are starting to trickle in. Gotta love that "Warning: You May Need a Spotter" badge. Like, do you even lift bro?

If you can't swing the five-hour beer run to College Park this weekend, take heart, because the mad scientists at Natural Light have also unveiled a new gastro-intestinal torture contraption called Natty Rush, which appears to be some sort of Long Island Iced Tea hybrid. Goodnight and good luck, brave drinkers of America.