Are You Not Entertained?
This Spanish sportscaster losing his mind over Lionel Messi leaving Barcelona is the greatest meltdown in television history
Yesterday, the soccer world stopped, slack-jawed and drooling in the middle of the street, when news broke that Lionel Messi and Barcelona, after 21 years, 34 trophies, and 672 goals, had officially split. Though the writing has been on the wall for awhile—including a near transfer last summer—the news still sent a shockwave across the globe. Nowhere, however, was the fallout more devastating than in the Catalan capital itself, where fans gathered in the streets to mourn the diminutive GOAT as if he had passed from this dimension (most likely he’s headed to Paris).
But thank the soccer gods, because the most explosive reaction to Messi’s departure didn't come on some poorly lit Camp Nou access road, but instead on live television, when Spanish sportscaster Cristobal Soria staged a meltdown that would make even Chernobyl blush.
It began somber and downcast, with Soria calling it “the worst night of my life” while holding back tears ...
... but the dial quickly ratched to 11 as Soria boarded the front car of the emotional rollercoaster without fastening the restraints. YOLO.
Say what you want about ESPN’s "Embrace Debate" era. Hate-watch Fox Sports all you want. They can’t even shine this clip’s shoes. From the shaky cam, to the f-bombs, to the sound effects, to the sweating (especially the sweating), it is a masterclass in semi-scripted sports-talk absurdity. It’s Jim Everett threatening to beat up Jim Rome for calling him “Chrissy” crossed with everything about Jerry Springer, and it’s absolutely beautiful.
Speaking of beautiful, Soria’s colleague Lobo Carrasco then capped then evening by shedding some tender man tears on live television, funeral hymn and all.
Dios mio is right.