Flying High

Let's just say the Red Sox aren't flying economy to London

June 27, 2019

Delayed flights, overbooked planes, and missed connections. Stale pretzels, flat ginger ale, and lost luggage. Air marshals with itchy trigger fingers, a sky toilet exploding somewhere over Newfoundland, and an irate man who doesn't understand why he can't bring a coffin on the flight. There are no shortage of horrors for the transatlantic air traveler to face with each and every departure...unless, of course, you're a member of the Boston Red Sox, who are peacefully gliding toward London this week aboard a members-only clubhouse with wings. Somewhere Babe Ruth just threw up in mouth a little bit (and it wasn't entirely from the drinking.)

Mindlessly scrolling through Instagram this morning, my brain didn't even register that this was a freaking airplane shooting through the sky 30,000 feet above the lowly peasants of earth. But the more my mind came to terms with what it was seeing, the more it boggled. Waitresses ferry h'orderves to and fro. A fully stocked bar basks in a cerulean glow while elegant floral settings sit upon white tableclothed tables where players clink brandy snifters and chortle about the financial prospects of the pacific rim. There are more snacks than a Southie Cumby's and Red Sox championship banners hang from every applicable surface. It makes the Led Zeppelin Starship look like a Greyhound Bus with creepy stains on every seat but mostly just look at all these snacks!

As pointed out by One Mile at a Time, the Red Sox didn't just charter any plane however,, they chartered a Crystal Boeing 777, which is specially designed to offer "air cruises" to every corner of the globe. More importantly, however, it looks like this...

We have no idea how the Yankees are traveling for the first-ever internationally waged series with their dreaded rivals, but once Harry Steinbrenner sees this, he's gonna have Aaron Judge base jumping into the stadium from the Space Station or commissioning a pinstriped submarine replete home run torpedoes. At the very least, maybe they can hitch a ride with A-Rod.

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