Whatchu gonna do?
May 13, 2020

Let’s all remember the 1999 Jacksonville Jaguars anthem, the most epic diss track in sports history

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Joe Robbins

It’s December 1999. The embers of the 20th century are dying. People are afraid planes are going to start dropping from the sky. Others are partying like Prince said we would. JNCOs are in, the Playstation graphics are bad, and in Duvall the Jacksonville Jaguars are just wrapping up a dominant 14-2 season led by Fred Taylor, Jimmy Smith, Mark Brunell, and a vicious pass rush duo of Kevin Hardy and Tony Brackens. It’s one hell of a time to be alive.

Tom Coughlin’s squad have faced one team with a winning record all the season, the Tennessee Titans, losing both of their matchups, but confidence is still at an all-time Jacksonville Jaguars high. Nothing can stop them. No one can slow them down. And they want everyone to know it. Unfortunately Twitter is still a decade away. YouTube is but a glimmer in the internet’s eye. How do you get the message out there? How do you make sure everyone in the NFL knows who’s top of the food chain? You commission the greatest bulletin board material in sports history, of course.

Perhaps you forgot about this. Perhaps you never heard it in the first place. Maybe you just need to listen again (and again and again and again.) Whatever the case may be, one thing is certain: The NFL's first and last officially sanctioned diss track belongs in Canton and Cleveland alike.

Recorded at the end of the 1999 regular season, “Uh Oh,” co-written with the help of Jaguars players themselves, reportedly pissed off Tom Coughlin something mighty. Initially, however, the Jaguars backed it up, steamrolling the Miami Dolphins 62-7 in the AFC Divisional Round days later, putting Dan Marino and Jimmy Johnson out to pasture in the process. Unfortunately for the Jags, they would meet the only team for which they had no bars, the Tennessee Titans, in the AFC Championship the following week. For the third time that season, they would get their spotted asses handed to them.

The Titans would go on to lose the Super Bowl by a yard while Jaguars would plunge into NFL irrelevancy, becoming perennial relocation contenders, former employers of Blake Bortles, and, eventually, losers of three AFC Championships. But no matter what happens to the Jags in the coming century—whether they’re playing in Fulham or on the moon come 2099—their greatest accomplishment will live on forever, right here in stunning 480p resolution.

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