New York City has always been more concrete desert than jungle, but if reports are to believed, a verdant, life-affirming oasis may soon be blooming in the cultural wasteland that is Times Square. Behold, humble sugar pilgrims, Krispy Kreme's new 4,500-square-foot doughnut Eden, where the world's largest hot light is always shining the glaze runs like spring water down the mountains.
No really. There's actually a glaze waterfall.
In addition to the Niagara Falls of heart disease, this den of culinary iniquities is also said to feature a "doughnut theater," stadium-style eating inside the world's largest Krispy Kreme box, an array of immersive digital activations that are going to get real sticky real fast, and a variety of different ways to stuff your soul with doughnut-y goodness, including a walk-up window for customers who would rather not socialize with other customers (read: all New Yorkers).
The indulgence leviathan is reportedly set to open in 2020 at 48th and Broadway, and will technically be NYC's second Krispy Kreme, thanks to a tiny counter buried deep within the bowels of Penn Station where I can be found annually drowning my anxieties before boarding a sold-out Amtrak and careening home for the holidays. Anyhoo, here's what Krispy Kreme had to say about your cardiologist's latest nightmare:
From the mixing of raw ingredients to the iconic glaze waterfall, Krispy Kreme Times Square Flagship will showcase the end-to-end doughnut making process, creating a wondrously delightful customer experience that is surpassed only by the first bite of Krispy Kreme’s melt-in-your-mouth Original Glazed® Doughnuts just minutes later. And guests can take that first bite while sitting in the world’s largest Krispy Kreme doughnut box with stadium-style seating, offering the perfect view of the doughnut theater across the shop.
The only thing that's missing are robotic arms that feed your doughnuts to you so you don't have to get your fingers all glaze-y, but hey, there's still plenty of time to get the kinks in the A.I. worked out before opening.