Put Up Ya Dukes
November 18, 2020

New York Giants fire offensive line coach after he allegedly wrecked head coach Joe Judge in a fist fight

They say life is like an oyster. Most are filled with stinky seawater and dirt, but every now and then you crack one open to find a gleaming pearl staring back at you. This story—this amazing, astounding, almost-too-good-to-be-true tale—is one such pearl.

One Wednesday morning, the New York Football Giants, once a proud beacon of decorum that turned up its nose at the mere sight of OBJ’s tattoos, fired offensive line coach Marc Colombo after Colombo and first-year head coach Joe Judge got into a fist fight. A brouhaha. A fracas. Honest to goodness fisticuffs, if reports are to be believed.

And the best part of all this? Judge reportedly fired Colombo on the spot . . . after getting his a$$ handed to him. You really, truly can’t make it up.

Now in fairness to Judge, Colombo clocks in at about 6’ 8”, 330. There aren’t too many souls who are going to survive a street fight with a unit of such absolution, but we can just picture him scrambling to his feet, nose bleeding, eyes all teary, shrieking “you’re fired!” at a slightly higher register than he meant it. Needless to say, if video ever surfaces, we will skip the line and ascend straight to heaven.

In other news, the Giants are now 3-7, riding a two-game winning streak, and about a half-game behind the Eagles for the most bogus NFC East title in the history of NFC East titles. Way to keep it together for the team, fellas.