Crime & Punishment

Jersey man arrested for drunk driving, blames the whole thing on the Jets

November 14, 2018
Buffalo Bills v New York Jets
Michael Owens

If you're wondering what it's like to be a Jets fan right now, the answer is a resounding NOT GREAT BOB. On Sunday, your team got whacked 41-10 by Matt Barkley's Buffalo Bills at home, and on Monday you woke up to find that the head coach who led you to said humiliation—and many more like it over the past few years—was still your head coach. Meanwhile your savior is still leading the league in interceptions despite missing an entire game and your children hardly call anymore. So what do you do? Well, if you're 57-year-old New Milford resident Christopher Greyshock, you drown your sorrows in cheap whiskey, get a DWI on the way home from the game, and blame it all on the god damn Jets.

According to the Pascack Valley Daily Voice, officers responded to the scene of an accident at around 5:15 p.m. on Sunday evening to find Greyshock “staggering and swaying” with undisclosed liquid stains on his pants and liquor on his breath. After failing a field sobriety test, Greyshock then declared, as much to the universe as anyone else...

I drank too much because the Jets suck!

Officers then searched Greyshock's car and found a 3/4 full bottle of bourbon, as well as marijuana and rolling papers. Greyshock was arrested and charged with assault by auto, driving while intoxicated, reckless driving, having an open container of alcohol in a motor vehicle, possession of marijuana, and possession of drug paraphernalia. The Jets aren't even worth three hours on a Sunday afternoon, and Greyshock is about to do 300 hours of community service because of them. Good job, idiot.

MORE FROM THE LOOP