AFC EAST: Infinity War
July 08, 2019

Intergalactic supervillain Tom Brady cooks up new equipment violation for 2019 season

It's July, which means Tom Brady hate is at an annual low. The Super Bowl is a distant memory and preseason a total joke. Right now he's just a regular suburban dad who swears a lot on the golf course and lucked into a beautiful wife despite having the personality of a refrigerator and once looking like this...

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It's all pretty relatable stuff (minus the Brazilian lingerie model part), but not content to go three months without being the most reviled man in sports, Brady decided to fire up the old Twitter machine on Monday afternoon to channel the BDE of Thanos, literally the most famous mass murderer in the history of the universe and the reason your kids still cry themselves to sleep at night. Seriously Tom, you couldn't just wait until September?

Whether or not a one-size-fits-all weapon of mass destruction that turns half of the cosmos into dust with the snap of the finger ultimately passes NFL inspection remains to be seen, but this wouldn't be the first time Brady tried to push the ol' equipment envelope (BOOM! ROASTED! DEFLATEGATE JOKES NEVER GET OLD). Suffice to say, it will be something to watch when TB12 and the gang return to Foxboro on July 24th, but Infinity Gauntlet or no Infinity Gauntlet, it's gonna take a hell of a lot more than Iron Man (and a convenient deus ex machina, but I digress) to save the AFC East from yet another massacre at the hands of this big blue bastard.