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Inter Milan manager Antonio Conte's advice to players: Have the laziest sex possible

November 22, 2019

You've long heard rumors of Europe's free-spirited nature—loosed from the shackles of inhibition and traditional swimwear. There's a place in France, so on and so forth. And perhaps that's still true. The last place I was overseas, was Scotland, and they don't have a lot of nude beaches there. But as it turns out, when it comes to superstar athletes and their, er, extracurriculars, the Euros are just as tightly wound as their American counterparts. Sure, stateside sports fans wring their hands over innocent Miami boat trips, advanced stats in cities with good strip clubs, and which Thunder bench player owes what porn star how much, but the Europeans have gone a step farther: They're literally advising players on how to have a sex in order to best support the team. Just ask Antonio Conte, manager of Italian soccer giant Inter Milan, who had this to say about his sex tactics training sessions in a recent interview with L'Equipe:

Hoo boy, HR is going to have a field day with this one. Now, there's not doubt that professional American sports franchises are having similar conversations with their players, they're just not A. Going on record about it and B. Advising them to be the most selfish lovers ever in the process. Speaking of which, let's all take a moment to pour some out for these aforementioned partners, who are being asked to give up a lifetime of carnal delight just so the backup keeper doesn't strain a calf. We feel for you. Truly we do.

But Conte doesn't stop there, going on to say, "And preferably, with their wives, because if with others, well, that needs extra action." I'll let our married audience members sound off on whether or not that's true, but this is not exactly a glowing endorsement of the bond between husband/wife-husband/husband from Mr. Conte.

Perhaps most interesting, however, is the fact that Conte's advice seems to work. In his first year as manager of Chelsea in 2017, Conte led the Blues to the Premier League title, and now he has long down-on-their-luck Inter one point off the top of the table in Serie A. We're not saying it's all because of the sex, but we're not NOT saying it either...