All-Time Backfire

Arturo Vidal pledges to donate testicles if Barcelona lose to Liverpool, Barcelona lose to Liverpool

May 8, 2019

Look on the bright side, downtrodden people of earth: At least you're not Arturo Vidal right now. On Tuesday night, Barcelona cruised into Liverpool leading 3-0 after the first-leg of the Champions League semi-final. With Liverpool needing to score four, victory for the Catalan Club—still riding the wave of Leo Messi's science-bending free kick in the reverse fixture—seemed all but assured...

So certain, in fact, was Barcelona midfielder Arturo Vidal of waltzing to a place in the Champions League Final later this month, that he even went as far as to push the ol' family jewels to the center of the table. This, ladies and gentleman, is the definition of all-in.

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Unfortunately for Vidal, Barcelona didn't win. Nor did they lose by one or even two, as they could have per the laws of aggregate scoring. Instead they were routed, conceding four goals without reply, including three in the second half, as Liverpool orchestrated one of the greatest comebacks in their long, storied, and, at times, insufferably self-righteous history. When the whistle blew in the 95th minute, Barcelona were out and Vidal's cojones were suddenly hanging in the balance.

To make matters worse, his right chestnut was pledged to Real Madrid, sworn mortal enemies of Barcelona since time immemorial.

Now we'd wager our own set that Vidal won't make good on his promise, but you never know. With a haircut like this, anything seems possible.

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