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The Loop

Green Bay Packers dress up as 'Happy Gilmore' characters but somehow forget Shooter

August 28, 2019

Oh those Green Bay Packers. They're just incorrigible. On Wednesday afternoon, the team of practical jokesters, noted funny guys, and all-round fun-loving dudes who can't go three months without rumors of petty rifts with former coaches and teammates tearing across football like a wildfire showed up for their annual Welcome Back Luncheon with a bit of a surprise in store for their lucky guests: 'Happy Gilmore' costumes. How wacky you guys!

Moving left to right, that's soon-to-be roster casualties Manny Wilkins and Tim Boyle dressed as Otto the caddie and Happy respectively, while Rodgers assumes the role of Hal the homicidal orderly and DeShone Kizer dons the hallowed cardigan of Chubbs Peterson. Packers fans hope this is the last they see of three of these four human beings ever in their entire lives.

Conspicuously absent, however, is the single most important character in Gilmore lore—the protagonist that keeps the whole Happy Cinematic Universe ticking—the one and only Shooter McGavin. Sure, there's only four QBs to go around at the moment, but it would have been really easy to swap Otto for Shooter. Perhaps Shooter was too busy slamming Labatt's with Bills Mafia to grant his image rights or maybe nobody wanted to be the guy who screams "I EAT PIECES OF SH*T LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST" in front of a bunch of God-and-cheese-fearing season ticket holders, but still, it feels like a big miss.

But anyway, props to Rodgers and co. for keeping the Good Guy facade on life-support with a sashimi-thin PR stunt while simultaneously criticizing your new head coach's practice drills and shouting "FAKE NEWS" anytime someone puts a microphone within 10 yards of your face. This should buy you another decade or two of good will up there in Whistling Straits country.