Given the ol' three-wood-or-wife ultimatum, Henrik Stenson picks the three wood
We're not sure what sort of real-life scenario would require you to pick between your lawfully wedded wife and trusty three wood. We're not sure why you would ask a professional golfer that question at a press conference nor how we would respond if we were said professional golfer. But at the Abu Dhabi Golf Championship on Monday, Henrik Stenson didn't bat an eye when faced with this thorny ultimatum:
The three wood, of course.
Now Henrik is a noted Funny Guy™, so when the angry voicemail from his wife comes through on Tuesday morning, he can probably wink-and-nudge this down to a weekend on the couch. But still, this seems like a pretty risky move for the traditionally steady operator. There a lot of three woods in the sea, Henrik. Wives, especially those able to laugh off jokes about inanimate objects mattering more than they do, are considerably harder to come by.
That said, this is pretty tame compared to CT Pan, who thanked his wife for filling in on the bag at the Wyndham Championship this summer—an event he finished second at, by the way—by saying that "she didn't help me much" and, per the old caddy quip, "she just needs to show up, keep up, and shut up, I guess." As of today, authorities are still searching for his body.