Party Animal

Gerrit Cole is going viral for the lamest postseason celebration in baseball history

October 19, 2022

On Tuesday, the Yankees outlasted the Cleveland Guardians in the ALDS series that simply wouldn’t die, setting up another pennant showdown with the arch-rival Astros. As it turns out, those Astros are the former employers of the Yanks’ stud ace Gerrit Cole, and after the win, as the Budweiser and bubbly flowed, Cole clearly had revenge, not revelry, on the mind. Or maybe he hates fun as much as he looks like he does. Who knows with this guy.

If that isn’t the lamest postseason celebration you’ve ever seen, then you’ve been watching baseball a lot longer than we have. Standing alone in the corner, Cole limply flicks his beer towards his teammates. When that doesn’t pull the pin of the party grenade, he decides to get really nuts and take a sip. He pulls his goggles up, tilts the bottle back, and takes a pull. It barely hits his lips before he spits it out like an eight-year-old stealing a slug of their dad’s "grown-up soda."

Whether you're willing pin your postseason hopes on a guy who can’t even drink a Bud Heavy is up to you. Personally, we’d like to see a little more Grit™ and Spark™ out of our workhorse, but this is, in its surly, drab essence, what makes Gerrit Cole Gerrit Cole. So far, so good on that front, but next time, make sure to save him a wine cooler or something.