Unleash the Takes
June 22, 2020

Everybody stay calm, ESPN just confirmed the Big Ten is better than the SEC

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Justin Casterline

After years of bloody conflict—brutal decades pitting neighbor against neighbor and brother against brother—there may finally be light at the end of college football’s long, dark tunnel. No, we’re not talking about paying players for the billions in revenue they generate every year nor the multi-team expansion of the College Football Playoff. We’re talking about ESPN’s latest free-association thought experiment, in which they have finally anointed the Big Ten the one true king of college football.

You fought hard, SEC fans. To lose with honor is a victory in itself.

Essentially the premise was this: If you had to craft a 22-man roster of active NFL players but could only pull from a single college football conference, which conference would it be? The answer, as it turns out, was a resounding Big Ten, laying to rest the long-running SEC vs. Big Ten blood feud once and for all. And even if that’s not remotely true, you have to admit that is one hell of a roster, especially when compared to the second-place SEC.

It’s not even close. Russell over Dak eight days a week. George Kittle vs. Jared Cook is the biggest beatdown we’ve seen since Tyson vs Lewis. The Bosa bros or an aging Von Miller and a guy whose biggest NFL accomplishment is taking off his helmet and hitting someone with it a la Happy Gilmore’s skate is a hypothetical that would get you laughed right out of the local Buffalo Wild Wings

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We know the SEC means more, but have you ever talked to an Ohio State fan? A Michigan Wolverine? These people are just as entitled, imbalanced, and delusional as their southeastern counterparts. It’s a big, fat W across the board for the Big Ten, who have opened up a bigger gap to the SEC in second place than the SEC has to the third-place ACC, spearheaded by the likes of Lamar Jackson, Dalvin Cook, and Aaron Darnold.

So go ahead, tag the SEC fan in your life, or whatever the hell the kids are doing these days. This Civil War's Gettysburg won’t be here until January, but until then, the bragging rights belong to the boys from up north.