Livin' La Vida Loca

Dwayne Wade chugs bottle of rosé while playing golf, already has retirement dialed in

April 17, 2019
Miami Heat v Milwaukee Bucks
Dylan Buell

A great many Americans struggle with retirement—with aimlessness and the sudden absence of self-worth long associated with a hard day's work. A great many more never get the luxury of struggling with retirement for obvious reasons. From the looks of things, however, neither of these unfortunate scenarios apply to Dwayne Wade, who, despite being officially retired for all of a week, already looks like an old pro.

WARNING: The following video features scenes of graphic relaxation and profane chill. Sorry bastard discretion is advised.

Needless to say, D-Wade is wasting no time when it comes to wasting time, chugging his own rosé from the passenger seat of a golf cart while his former trainer (because who needs one of those when you're retired?) laughs hysterically behind him. If you're still wondering what "livin' la vida loca" looks like 20 years later, well folks, this is it.

Whether or not D-Wade follows in the footsteps of fellow golf-obsessed NBA retirees like Ray Allen and Deron Williams remains to be seen, however. If we had to put money on it (and make no mistake, somebody will), we'd bet Wade will be suited and booted on a Bristol soundstage by the next presidential election. But who knows, maybe he'll fall under GHIN's sexy spell like so many before him and spend his many remaining golden years chopping it around Doral. He wouldn't be the first and certainly won't be the last.

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