The Loop

Drew Brees celebrates 40th birthday in the club like a 40-year-old man in the club

January 16, 2019
Divisional Round - Philadelphia Eagles v New Orleans Saints

Chris Graythen

This might blow a few minds, but Drew Brees—despite another incredible year that has his Saints playing for a potential Super Bowl berth at home on Sunday afternoon—is officially 40 now, one year older than Peyton when he hung it up and two years older than Marino. While Brees may not show his age on the field, however, the decades stack up fast when you get him in the club, as he was for his milemarker birthday bash on Tuesday night. Viewer discretion is advised...

Hoo boy, that's some tough stuff to watch. Brees even breaks out something sort of resembling the robot for an excruciating second that seems to last a century, evoking everybody's favorite Progressive commercial in the process. We should be applauding Brees for staying young and having fun, but it's hard not wince when the only thing missing from this equation is the fanny pack.

Of course, if Brees goes out on Sunday and out-geniuses Rams head coach Sean McVay—a man who he is EIGHT YEARS OLDER THAN—then we will eat our words. And armed with young guns like Alvin Kamara and Michael Thomas, there's very real chance he will. But first, he's going to have kick that heartburn. As it turns out, once you turn 40, there is such thing as too many jalapeño poppers...