Gifts That Keep Giving

Deck the halls with Busch's five-foot-long beer cooler stocking this holiday season

November 21, 2019

The irony of Christmas morning is this: It's the crack of dawn, you're hungover, and your kids are crawling all over you like little baby howler monkeys. You won't encounter a more urgent need-a-drink scenario all year, and yet you can't because, well, but it's the crack of dawn, you're hungover, and your kids are crawling all over you like little baby howler monkeys. But wait! There's hope! Because this year Busch are on a mission to say, hey dad, hey son-in-law, hey lonely single man who just remembered today is Christmas 10 minutes ago, its OK. If you can't put your ratty-slippered feet up and crack a cold one this morning, of all mornings, then when the hell can you? Enter the Busch Cooler Stocking, which just usurped the iPhone 11 as the hottest tech gift of the holiday season.

RELATED: PBR gave us the greatest Christmas gift of all: 99-can beer cases

There you have it folks, the stats are right there punching you in the face. The stocking stands about as tall as the Bagel Boss, holds a full 12 pack, and allegedly spreads cheer, though some assembly of your significant other's expectations may be required. It's also insulated, so it'll keep your beer cold and chestnuts roasting all season long. If they had this bad boy back in Scrooge's day, the man would have loved Christmas and Tiny Tim would have gotten the best crutches money could buy, but alas.

As far as stocking stuffers are concerned, the good folks at Busch are gonna suggest Busch, but it'll handle just about any cheap domestic, farmhouse sour, or appropriately piney triple IPA you throw at it. Pre-order your Busch Cooler Stocking in the Busch Online Shop (a real and glorious thing) and settle in for the best, and Buschiest, Christmas ever.

RELATED: Altamont Beer Works' new CattyShack IPA is a liquid tribute to Carl Spackler

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