Rao's Meatballs

64-year-old BP pitcher Dave Jauss was the star of the 2021 Home Run Derby

On Monday night in gloriously thin air of Denver, Colorado, Pete Alonso put on a dinger display for the ages. Rivaling Aaron Judge’s 2017 performance in terms of pure wow factor, Alonso hit a record 35 bombs in the first-round, cruised past Juan Soto with minutes to spare in the semi, and put a dent in the hood of Trey Mancini’s cancer comeback story in the final. He did all of it while consistently cranking 490-foot bombs to the exact same part of left center, dancing to the stadium jams during timeouts, and generally making Shohei—who was bounced in the first round much to ESPN’s dismay—look like No-hei. Yet, despite all that, Alonso wasn’t the star of the evening. That title instead belonged to 64-year-old Mets bench coach and newly anointed BP GOAT Dave Jauss, whose performance as pitcher grabbed the internet by the scruff its neck and turned it upside down.

It wasn’t just the Twitter brigade either. Even pro catchers and the guy he was tossing those Rao's meatballs to went out of their way to tout Jauss as a top-secret weapon of mass destruction.

Why all the love? Because while other batters had to work around their pitchers all evening, Jauss grooved one juicy hanger steak after the next, and Alonso absolutely gobbled them up. Just take a look at this cluster and try to pretend like you’re not impressed.

Michael van Gerwen-esque from the Amherst psych major and son of Chicago sportswriter Bill Jauss, the inspiration behind Chris Farley’s immortal “Da Bears” SNL character. In fact, so incredible was the performance that not only is Pete Alonso now a back-to-back Home Run Derby champ, the Mets may or not be seriously considering him for a spot in the rotation. Enjoy your 15 minutes, Jaussy. You earned it.