Happy Holidaze
January 02, 2020

Dan Snyder kicks off press conference on January 2nd with a casual "Happy Thanksgiving"

Minnesota Vikings v Washington Redskins

Rob Tringali/Sportschrome

Granted, Thanksgiving was late this year. It didn't roll around until November 28th, leaving Christmas shoppers in a lurch and offspring across America with precious little emotional recovery time between trips home. Still, it's January 2nd. At the time of writing we are 35 days and two holidays removed from Turkey Day. Hell, it's not even the same year anymore. But don't tell that to Washington Redskins owner and scab of a human being Dan Synder, who greeted reporters at Ron Rivera's introductory press conference on Thursday with a casual "Happy Thanksgiving, everybody." If you're wondering why the Redskins are the way they are, here's your answer.

There are a few plausible explanations for this. Maybe Dan Snyder hasn't given a public statement since Thanksgiving. Maybe it's a joke about how busy he's been. Maybe it's a meta commentary on the overall hectic-ness of the holiday season. But this is Dan Snyder. These are the Washington Redskins. They wouldn't know a plausible explanation if it stepped on their toes, poured a bucket of ice water over their head, and shoved a pie in their face. This is the same brain trust that almost intentionally nuked Lamar Jackson 1.0's knee. The same brain trust that couches racism as tradition and once employed a starting QB who once sprained his neck headbutting a concrete wall while celebrating a touchdown. He was the smartest of the bunch, by the way.

So sure, maybe something got lost in translation. According to reports, Daniel the Great doesn't much conversing with the plebes anyway. But let's be honest, we all know better. The only question is why doesn't Ron Rivera?