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Conor McGregor’s first pitch at Tuesday’s Cubs game makes Mariah Carey look like Sandy Koufax

September 22, 2021

Nobody loves Conor McGregor quite like Conor McGregor. Sure, he has his Twitter disciples, who will defend him to death no matter how many times he gets his ass beat by some journeyman fighter, but Conor McGregor is Conor McGregor’s biggest fan. There’s nothing on earth Conor McGregor thinks Conor McGregor can’t do. Boxing? Check. Whiskey? Check. Try to fight every D-lister on earth on the red carpet? Um, check. So of course when it came to Major League Baseball, McGregor looked at a bunch of flabby Wisconsin dads throwing a ball off a little dirt hill and thought, “fook yeah, I’ll be the king of that too!”

He was wrong. Very wrong.

That was McGregor sailing the first pitch at Tuesday night’s Cubs game to County Clare and back. Maybe his shin is still bothering him. Maybe his suit was too tight (it was pretty darn tight). Maybe he had one too many Proper No. 12s before the game. Not sure. Not going to speculate. What we do know, however, is that this is one of the wildest first pitches we’ve ever seen, and definitely the wildest by a professional athlete (formerly) at the top of their sport.

We can understand a pop star in six-inch pumps and a denim skirt bouncing one …

… and a rapper who named himself after some loose change throwing behind the batter … in the on-deck circle …

… but McGregor? We expected more out of him … just like his last Pay-per-view. Ba dum psh. Thank you, thank you. We’re here all week.