Spray it Don't Say it

This ridiculous high school football call is more electric than hooking a car battery to your nipples

November 09, 2021

Chris Berman. Gus Johnson. Brent Musburger. The guy who once famously quipped “THE BAND IS ON THE FIELD!” Football history is littered with legendary orators and iconic calls, the breathless shouts echoing off the walls of our minds for generations. One could argue that this is a dying breed of American football narration, replaced by whitewashed analytics regurgitated by the booth equivalent of tenured professors. Where’s the passion? Where’s the drive? Most importantly, where are the decibel levels?

All big questions for another day, but if this incredible touchdown call from this weekend’s big Division III CIF Sac-Joaquin Football Playoffs showdown between Christian Brothers and Rodriguez is any indication, there just might be hope for us yet.

Holy moly, someone get this kid a Ricola. I’ve heard less screaming at a Cannibal Corpse concert. But you know what? It works. In fact, it’s so damn raw and committed that it somehow makes this play—the victim of some of the shoddiest camerawork in football history—not just watchable, but downright electric. If radio had a future, we’d say this kid has a future in radio, but alas.

In the end, the Falcons went on to win 30-16, a final score you will surely forget long before this hero’s screams recede from memory. PUT THE BALL IN THAT MAN’S HAND!