Charles Barkley has some sage advice for Jussie Smollett and aspiring criminals everywhere

NBA on TNT is basketball's version of the Price is Right big wheel. You have literally no idea what you're going to get, but the possibility that it's a shiny new speedboat keeps your eyeballs glued to the TV all the same. Thankfully for all you patient viewers, on Thursday night anti-vegan and aspiring meteorologist Charles Barkley delivered an all-expenses-paid Maui dream vacation, sounding off on the drama surrounding Empire actor Jussie Smollett—who is currently under arrest for faking an elaborate hate crime against him in order to get a raise—in the most Chuck way imaginable. Take it away, big fella:

The whole thing begins with Ernie fishing for the most unbelievable prediction still in play this NBA season, to which Barkley responds "uh, two black guys beating another black guy up." It doesn't make a whole lot of sense at first, but that doesn't matter because Chuck is off and running, choking back giggles as he turns to the camera some solemn advice to America and perhaps even humanity as a whole:

"America, let me just tell ya something: Do not commit crimes with checks....Get cash, man! I never used an ATM, I heard you can only get $200 out—"

Allegedly Smollett paid his fake assailants via check and communicated with them via his own cellphone, but Chuck isn't able to get to those details before Ernie cuts him off, presumably before he can incriminate himself further. The crazy train, however, has already jumped the tracks and Barkley, needing the last word per usual, wraps his pop culture power hour by saying "You know what you shoulda did? Just walk down to Liam Neeson's neighborhood. You could have solved all your damn problems!" before a producer screams "Charles stop!" from off camera. Seriously, someone give this man an Emmy.