The offseason is a weird time for football players, who, as natural born extremists suddenly devoid of the only rudder they've had since the age of 13, tend to go off the deep end a little bit. They get arrested (gasp). They delete their Instagrams (double gasp). They do whatever it was Antonio Brown did to his facial hair (OH MY GOD). Panthers quarterback Cam Newton has a slightly different take on the offseason insanity, though. He's not out to party or jockey for an extra couple of million or announce he's transitioning to wide receiver to go play with Baker "Jesus" Mayfield. Instead he's giving up sex for a month in order to enhance his mental fortitude. Something tells us Cam's other big offseason initiative has been binge watching Seinfeld.
Newton made the revelation on The Late Late Show with James Corden this week saying, “In March — I hope this is an adult crowd, it looks like it is — no climax....It makes my mind stronger. So when the season comes around, I say if I did those things, I’m mentally stronger."
As George Costanza himself demonstrated on several occasions over the years, the call of carnal pleasure—including but by no means limited to mid-coitus pastrami—is always too powerful, but then again, Newton does possesses something ol' Georgie boy never did: A spine.
Of course, this could also just be a reflection of a broader cultural trend. Studies show that millennials are having less sex than any American generation in decades, and at 29 years young, Newton certainly qualifies. But our hunch is that the Panthers quarterback and Master of His Domain's real kink isn't Seinfeld, nor Rubik's Cubes, nor even funny hats, but deprivation. He did just go vegan after all...