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Down Low, Too Slow

Latest Bryson DeChambeau fail proves golfers suck at high fives no matter what tour they’re playing on

For athletes whose primary attribute is hand-eye coordination, golfers are infamously awful at all forms of physical greeting. High fives, low fives, chest bumps, fist bumps. You name it, they suck at it, and there’s an ugly archive of evidence to prove it. The latest example comes to us by way of London and cringe extraordinaire Bryson DeChambeau, who turned a simple dap with a fan into yet another viral fail this weekend. Sound up.

The Adele is just too good. DeChambeau also deserves points for trying to smooth it into a Phil-esque thumbs up. But this is a professional athlete we’re talking about. You would hope he has the reflexes to get to that hand on time. If NASCAR drivers—fellow victims of the “not an athlete” debate—can dodge certain death at 200 mph, surely a U.S. Open-winning physics junkie can handle a spontaneous high five. Distance times velocity divided by the square root of the barometric pressure. Simple stuff really.

Unfortunately it goes to show that no matter the continent, no matter the tour, golfers are forever fated to suck at palm-on-palm communication. If LIV Golf really wants to “grow the game,” perhaps they should start there.