The Mets have enough on their, uh, plate right now without having to teach players basic life skills. There's a new Jacob DeGrom contract to get over the line, a glut of offseason acquisitions to bed in, and former nemesis Bryce Harper to re-contend with. Unfortunately on Wednesday, almost exactly one month from Opening Day, the Mets weren't working on infield shifts or bullpen strategy, but instead culinary 101, after outfielder Brandon Nimmo gave himself food poisoning while attempting to cook chicken and sweet potatoes. A new and inevitably calamitous Mets season is now underway.
Nimmo, who cranked 17 homers, batted in 47 RBIS, and logged an impressive .886 OPS last season, is expected to be a consistent contributor in 2019, but first he needs to learn that when it comes to poultry, there's no such thing as medium rare. From the sounds of things, he's already learned that lesson the hard way...
For a man who says he lost four pounds vomiting all night, Nimmo seems pretty upbeat about the situation, even going so far as to claim he cooked the meat all the way through, which, if you're even remotely familiar with the Mets, you know is absolutely a lie. They've been pulling off the baseball equivalent of a burnt casserole every night for the past 20 seasons, there's literally no reason to believe they—or a guy whose Twitter handle is @You_Found_Nimmo—got this right. In fact, Nimmo might want to go out of house for those cooking lessons, lest he end up with malnutrition and IBS or something.
On the bright side, however, perhaps the Mets can get Cespedes on the Nimmo Diet. From the looks of things, four pounds of puking might do him some good.