The Golden Years

Legendary human Blake Bortles says he plans to spend the next 20 years of retirement getting ready for the Champions Tour

October 12, 2022

As you may have already heard, the game of football lost an icon earlier this month when Blake Bortles—man, myth, and legend—announced his retirement at the age of 30. It was a sad day for NFL fans across this great nation, but not for Bortles. The world is now his oyster, and within it a glimmering pearl of opportunity. He can do anything he wants, and now that he’s updated his LinkedIn, what he wants is to play golf, hang out, and maybe even make the Champions Tour. Take it away, B.

When asked what he would do if getting paid didn’t matter, Bortles had this to say:

“Play golf and hang out … I have two little kids, so that takes up 90% of the time, and then the other 10% I probably play golf.”

“You can start the senior tour at 50,” he continues, getting more ambitious by the second, “so I’ve essentially got 20 years to get ready for that.”

How much work will Bortles have to put in to pip Tony Romo to the veteran circuit and cement his status as not just a football legend, but an American icon? Well, he says he’s currently shooting around 80, give or take. So there’s certainly work to be done, but when it comes to improving your golf game, there’s simply no replacement for time, dedication, and maybe even a little delusion.