The Wide World of Walton

Bill Walton was born to call the Maui Invitational

November 26, 2019

This going to sound really odd, but I promise you it's true: Some people really, REALLY hate Bill Walton. They hate his babbling. They hate his rambling. They hate that he's happier than they are and they hate that he almost exclusively doesn't stick to sports. These people are wrong. These people are idiots. How do we know this? Because Bill Walton was on the call for ESPN's coverage of the Maui Invitational on Monday night, and the Maui Wowie-fueled results were pure, uncut entertainment. From shouting about drinking children's blood...

...to comparing Kansas basketball to the many splendors of the natural world...

...Walton brought his absolute Walton A-game, including shouting "SILVIO!" seemingly at random throughout the contest.

He and beleaguered broadcast partner Dave Pasch's usual rat ta tat was also in midseason form, including conversations about how lovely Arizona is the winter...

...and the inner workings of Disney of HR.

RELATED: Bill Walton's ode to bridges is the best sports commentary of 2017

Putting the cherry on top of this wacky piña colada was the liberal slathering of leis and Hawaiian shirts, the unofficial Bill Walton uniform, in case you haven't been paying attention.

Ladies, gentleman, and beyond the binary friends, this is a man in his element.

So yeah, we get why dedicated viewers bettors of Chaminade college basketball might eventually tire of Walton's mental pinball. It really is the basketball of equivalent that question guy meme...

But like Walton, just look on the bright side: At least you're not listening to Joe Buck.

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