On Saturday night, smack in the middle of that horrifically-awesome Week 0 game between Miami and Florida, the most shocking NFL news in years scrolled across the ESPN bottom line. Andrew Luck, starting quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts, announced his retirement at the age of 29. While there'd been instances of players calling it quits in the middle or at the end of their primes before (Barry Sanders, Calvin Johnson come to mind...sorry Lions fans), never had a quarterback as good as Luck and as young as Luck hung it up so soon, making it arguably the most stunning early retirement in NFL history.
To miss this news, as a fan, player, coach, beer vendor, etc., was essentially impossible. That is, unless you are New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, who actually claimed with a straight face on Monday that he did not "see" that Luck had retired over the weekend:
I don't care if you are the most diehard Patriots fan ever, the kind that would excuse Belichick or Tom Brady if one of them were to commit a felony, you cannot possibly believe that the Hoodie was unaware Luck retired. The news broke Saturday night, and it was followed by an emotional press conference from Luck, which was followed by endless MY COLUMNS: and a flood of horrendous takes from everyone with a pulse that should still be allowed to have a pulse but maybe not a Twitter account. For Belichick to not be aware of this news until he was informed in this Monday press conference, he would have had to been locked in his office the entire weekend with no connection to the internet, no human contact and a television that only allowed him to watch game tape. Possible? Yes considering this is Belichick. Likely? Absolutely not.
Pats fans can "On to Cincinnati" or "on to New York" all they want (yeah, Belichick is totally losing sleep over a preseason opponent in his 20th season in Foxboro). They can act like this is so Belichickian and he has no time to worry about other teams and he's so focused on the Patriots and blah blah blah. If you believe for one second Belichick was unaware Luck retired you are smoking the dopest dope you've ever smoked. I enjoy Belichick's quirks and back-and-forths with the media as much as anyone, but let's be realistic here people. The only thing Belichick is unaware of is how he's going to explain to the fanbase next year why he's releasing the greatest quarterback in NFL history to make room for Luck on the Pats' roster.