Low Blow, Bro
Non-league Ashton United F.C. make hilarious loan bid for Erling Haaland during World Cup, sideswipe golf in the process
Here’s a strange one from jolly old England. On Monday, Ashton United F.C.—a non-league club in the seventh tier of the English soccer pyramid—made an audacious 28-day loan bid for Erling Haaland—the greatest striker on planet earth—who is set for a midseason holiday with his native Norway not having qualified for the 2022 World Cup in Qatar.
Ordinarily we’d be all for this one. A win for the little guys, plus the chance to watch the Manchester City striker, who has scored 18 goals in his first 14 Premier League games, punch holes in the Hurst Cross netting week in, week out. What’s not to love? Well, just one thing as it turns out:
In their cheeky bid for Haaland, Ashton United had to slip in a little dig at golf.
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We were fully on board with this until golf’s good name got dragged through the mud. The premise that playing non-professional football in Manchester in December is preferable to a golf sabbatical in the Caribbean just don't hold water. We don’t care how much Haaland loves scoring goals—more than anything else, if we had to guess—but even he needs a break once in a while.
Of course, this is all played for laughs. Maybe we're being overprotective. After all, Ashton United are more likely to hire Ted Lasso as manager than get Haaland on loan, and Lasso isn’t even a real person. That said, the next time a plucky underdog stages a viral gag for shits and gigs, here’s hoping they leave golf out of it.