Novelty Gifts

A unofficial ranking of the best golf "talents" you can book on Cameo

October 15, 2019
Chris Condon

From autographs to selfies, Americans have always found creative ways to mark their brushes with celebrities. But now through the magic of technology and online payments, you can actually enlist famous people to talk to you directly. Who says this great nation isn't still leading the world in innovation?

The website Cameo has thousands of "talents" available to send you or your friends a personalized video message. The options at literally your fingertips are endless. Want to have Ray Lewis talk trash to your buddy ahead of your big fantasy football match? That'll cost you $300. How about Real Housewives star Bethenny Frankel saying hi to your real housewife? Plunk down $275 and it will happen. Or maybe you want Seinfeld's infamous "Soup Nazi" to yell "NO SOUP FOR YOU!" At only $60, that's a better value than what he was charging for his jambalaya.

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But for the purpose of this post, we're going to focus on all the golf-related celebrities. And we use that term loosely considering most are Instagram stars and trick-shot artists. We're actually surprised there aren't any PGA Tour WAGs on here. If TV personality Blair O'Neal can charge $99, then we're guessing Paulina Gretzky could fetch a pretty penny. Just a thought, Paulina—especially with Dustin Johnson currently sidelined while he recovers from knee surgery. Somebody's got to bring home the bacon, because those tropical vacations don't pay for themselves!

Anyway, a bit more background on Cameo (Be prepared to hear the word TALENT a lot). Prices for the short—most look to be about 30 seconds—are determined by the talent themselves and customers book talent directly through the website. Each talent's page says how long he/she typically takes to respond. And during the booking process, the customer leaves special instructions with the talent.

Like if I were going to hire Luke Donald to make fun of my boss's golf game, I'd write, "Luke, please tell Sam Weinman he's got less pop than the Mets' lineup," or say "Your putting stroke is shakier than the Mets' bullpen." I'd have Luke say these things to Sam because I'm a slightly better golfer than he is and he's a Mets fan, but I'm not going to actually do that because I'm too good of a guy. (Truth be told, I just don't feel like forking over $200 for this.)

OK, let's get to the list. There are 39 golf-related TALENTS on Cameo at the moment and I've honestly never heard of half of them. Let's run down the top seven, shall we?

7. Sandra Gal

In 2012, Golf Digest did a "Hottest Golfer" contest and Gal won. So. . . there's that. Plus, she won an LPGA event and played in two Solheim Cups. Her price of $50 seems like a steal—especially when you consider Blair O'Neal is charging $99. By the way, Rickie Fowler won the male vote of that hottest golfer contest back in the day. Sadly, he is not on Cameo, because he's probably too busy shooting more Rocket Mortgage commercials.

6. Ryan Rustand

Better known as "Coach Rusty," Ryan is one of the world's great trick-shot artists.

And he only costs $10. TEN dollars! That's cheaper than a meal at Chipotle for crying out loud. If you can convince him to do a personalized trick shot, that's well worth it.

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5. Jim Knous

Michael Cohen

Speaking of value, for just $5 more you can get an actual PGA Tour pro to record a message. I'm guessing 99 percent of golf fans don't know who Knous is, but he's one of only three PGA Tour pros on the entire site. Speaking of. . .

4. Si Woo Kim

Warren Little

Why settle for a PGA Tour pro when you can book a former Players champ for the low price of $25? Actually, a Twitter discussion about Kim's Cameo availability was the impetus for this post. Considering his driver-off-the-deck prowess, I think Si Woo is selling himself short.

3. Luke Donald

Matt Sullivan/Getty Images

OR you could book a former World No. 1. LD's golf résumé tops everyone else on this list combined. He's still a world-class player and he manages to typically respond within two days. As mentioned, though, he's also $200, by far the most expensive golf talent. Imagine what he would charge if he had ever won a major? Anyway, he must be a pretty cool cat if he's BFFs with Michael Jordan.

2. Justin James

Photo by Giovanni Reda

This is a novelty gift and what's a more novelty profession than being a World Long Drive champ? James has been unseated by Kyle Berkshire, but he's still a lot longer than your buddy who thinks he can hit it 300 yards. James can probably do that with a 3-iron. And he can rub that in your friend's face for just $30.

1. Shooter McGavin

Chris Condon

SHOOTER! The man, the myth, the legend himself! Well, actually, himself is actor Chris McDonald, but nowhere on his page does it say that. He knows where his bread is buttered. Has there ever been a more likable movie villain?

Chris Condon

Obviously, not. At $150, he's a bit pricey, but again, it's Shooter. Having him tell my boss he "spends more time in the sand than David Hasselhoff" might be worth it.

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