OK, we tried to ignore this. Really, we did. But unfortunately this story just doesn't seem to be going away. On Wednesday Oakland Raiders QB/cap-space torpedo Derek Carr tweeted at UFC president Dana White proposing a new fighting league where he and sports journalists who say mean things about him could meet to hash out their differences in the crucible of the octagon. If you missed it (and lucky you if you did), here's what that piping hot platter of internet stupidity looks like:
On its own, this is ridiculous enough, but the internet wasn't content to let Carr howl into the void, picking up the story and running with it in every conceivable direction except the one that would actually diffuse it. By Thursday afternoon, even Adam Schefter was tweeting about it, breaking down the odds that actual Vegas sportsbook Bovada released on this totally imaginary, not-so-royal rumble:
Obviously this is beyond embarrassing for Carr—a professional athlete—who isn't even considered the favorite in a street brawl with a desk jockey by experts in a city he will be calling home (unless he gets traded to the Dolphins or something) in a year's time. As if letting the First Take hot-air machine wind you up wasn't bad enough, Carr isn't even the favorite in the completely hypothetical fight of his own making. I don't care who you are, that's gotta sting.
In the end, though, Carr seems to have taken a deep breath and said his Serenity Nows, hitting the links with his kid for some good ol' fashioned decompression...until he picks a fight the bunker rake on twelve for looking at him funny, that is: