Big Man On Campus

Your one-week college football star of the week: This poor, sad, helpless Michigan fan

September 23, 2019

Here's what I'll say about Michigan fans: they're owning this loss. Their Wolverines were utterly embarrassed and emasculated on Saturday against Wisconsin. The Badgers took control from the opening snap, running the ball directly down the vaunted Michigan defense's throat and racing out to a 35-0 lead. It looked like Jim Harbaugh's team didn't belong, like they were Central Michigan or South Florida, two teams the Badgers beat by a combined 110-0 over their first two games. Michigan was now grouped in, making it a 145-0 start to Wisconsin's season.

The Wolverines scoring 14 points at the end was merely scoreboard dressing. Had Wisco wanted, 56-0 was a score they could have had, but they do have to play this team almost every year, possibly even this year in the Big Ten Championship game... LOL, just kidding. If Michigan musters up 10 wins this season, it'd be a miracle. Firing Jim Harbaugh would be stupid (who are they going to hire next?), but as of right now the screams to do so have never been louder.

Saturday was the lowest of the low, a non-competitive showing in the marquee Big Ten game of the week. Through it all, one Michigan fan, nay, one Michigan MAN stood tall, sitting through the entire freaking game in what we have to assume is a Tom Brady Wolverines jersey. That's right, this poor, sad, helpless Michigan fan is our one-week college football star of the week. Way to stick it out kid:

You know that way back when he got this ticket he thought this was a brilliant idea. "I'm gonna sit front row, in the middle of the student section and be the only Michigan fan going crazy when we beat Wisconsin!" Sounded fun at the time, I'm sure. Down 35-0 before you could say "Go Blue!" sounds a lot less fun. But props to this herb for sitting through the the Massacre in Madison. He could have tucked his tail between his legs and slinked out at halftime, but he's no quitter. Tip of the cap, friend.

Honorable Mentions

Adrian Magee

My original choice for CFB star of the week, but his two pancakes were so good we decided to cover it separately instead. Let's watch again, shall we?

What a stud.

Artur Sitkowski

"Who the F--- is Artur Sitkowski?!" You ask. He's the starting quarterback at Rutgers. "Why the hell are we talking about the Rutgers QB?" you ask again. Because his own teammate socked him in the face!

This is what watching the Scarlet Knights has been like since Greg Schiano left. Just getting punched in the face over and over again.

The Georgia lights person

I'm the biggest "just play the game already" old head guy out there. All the lights and smoke and explosions mean absolutely zero if you go out and lay an egg. But even I can admit the scene at Sanford Stadium on Saturday night looked WILD.

Appalachian State's locker room celebration

Following their latest upset of a Power 5 program, App State broke it down in the locker room:

I should correct myself--can you even call what App State does upsets anymore? They've been an FBS team since 2014, and after the win over North Carolina they moved to 4-0, well on their way to what could be a fifth straight 9-plus win season. Top 25 anyone?

Jonathan Taylor

A casual 203-yard, two touchdown performance from Taylor on Saturday vs. Michigan, and he did it with this mouthpiece:

Just give the kid the Heisman now.

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