Will Muschamp looks like your average, middle-aged guy. You know, the neighbor who mows the lawn in slightly too-short shorts and whose height of artistic experimentation is Steve Miller Band. But beneath that vanilla exterior is a man of untold passion and bottomless rage—a brimming well of profanity, spittle, and vitriol that has produced some of college football's most gifable pulsating forehead veins over the years.
Which is why when Muschamp told reporters this week that his 1-3 South Carolina Gamecocks plan to play every game like a "must-win" from here on in—including kicking their open week's ass too—we absolutely, 110% believed him.
It probably goes without saying, but we'll say it anyway: This is the college football quote of the week, maybe the year. Sure, it's no "I'M A MAN, I'M 40!" but still, it's high quality from front to back. Drink it in slow, if you don't believe us.
REPORTER: Do you consider this a must-win game on Satur—
MUSCHAMPION: They're all must win games. Every single game. You know what next week's gonna be? Well, that's where we're open. The next? Must-win...and we need to kick open's ass too.
If that doesn't sound like A+++++ coach speak to you, then you're not just grading on the wrong bell curve, you're on the wrong damn syllabus. As for Muschamp's ability to walk the talk? Well, on Saturday they take on Kentucky, who they've lost to in five-straight meetings, before facing number-three Georgia and number-nine Florida in consecutive weeks. So maybe this isn't a joke after all, because if South Carolina can't take care of Open Week U at home, they could be staring 1-6 in the face before you can say "and now introducing our new interim head coach..."