124th U.S. Open

Pinehurst No. 2

Not-So-Smooth Criminals

Two absolute morons try to steal putters by shoving them down their pants in worst heist of all time

Think of all the great Hollywood capers over the years. “Ocean’s 11,” “Ocean’s 12,” “Jackie Brown,” “Heat,” “Drive,” “Thief,” “Inside Man,” and “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.” The list goes on and on, but they all feature meticulous planning montages, shocking double crosses, edge-of-your-seat improvisation and, inevitably, a twist you never saw coming.

This video has none of those things.

On Sunday, these two stooges walked into the pro shop at Ferndown Forest Golf Club in Bournemouth, England and right there, in plain view of the security camera, faces clearly visible, attempted to make off with a pair of putters by shoving them down their pants and limping out the front door. The shop’s employees were outside talking to another customer and watched the not-so-smooth criminals get into their van, license plates proudly displayed, and drive off. With the help of local golfers and authorities, they were quickly identified.

Needless to say, this is not the heist of the century or even the week. This pair of petty criminals get a D- for planning and an F for execution and pretty soon their stupidity (not to mention the police) will catch up with them. Until then, let this be lesson to anybody dumb enough to follow in their footsteps:

Crime only pays in the movies.