J-E-T-S

This depressing SNY segment says everything you need to know about the New York Jets

October 22, 2019

The World Series and NBA Finals both begin tonight, but first we have to talk about the New York Jets. A week removed from their would-be turnaround game against the Dallas Cowboys, the New York Jets, as the New York Jets are wont to do, were throughly humiliated by the New England Patriots on Monday Night Football. The game was over midway through the second quarter, and eventually, mercifully finished 33-0, with Sam Darnold so mentally traumatized by the affair that he began seeing the spirits of the Jets players leaving their bodies right there on the field.

After a performance like that, everyone would have been smart to just pack it up and go home. Cancel the press conferences. Clear the crowds. Outline the bodies in chalk and let police do their jobs. But this is just business as usual for the Jets, so over at SNY, the show went on as planned, and boy are we glad it did, because it turned into some of the most A+ football content you will see all year.

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That's Bart Scott and Ray Lucas. One is a Jets legend, the other, well, let's just say his playing career isn't important. What is important is the sheer, yawning vacuum of hope that these men embody. "F" they say when asked to grade each of the Jets' units, offering no further elaboration. At one point, Scott even tries to give the coaching staff a "Z." As it turns out, that's not a real grade, so he goes with another F instead.

"When [Jets guard] Brian Winters says 'we're gonna try to take the good out of this film', there isn't any," Lucas says. "I missed the national anthem," Scott responds. "Was it slamming?"

And thus is the state of Jets fandom on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2019 AD: Watching the game for the national anthem, because even Steven Tyler's reanimated corpse scatting over every syllable is better than what comes next.

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