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March 06, 2020

The athletic feat of the week is Joey Chestnut downing a world-record 32 Big Macs in less than 40 minutes

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Joey Chestnut is a gosh darn animal. You likely know him from his annual Fourth of July heroics, throwing back Nathan's dogs like Tic-Tacs on the Coney Island Boardwalk, but his eating exploits extend far beyond Brooklyn. Last summer, he took his bottomless pit of a stomach to Hooters for National Chicken Wing Day, devouring 413 (no, we didn't forget a decimal) Hooters wings to set a new world record, and now he's set his sights on even bigger prey: The iconic McDonald's Big Mac.

If there was any doubt that Chestnut would emerge victorious, you clearly don't know the man. On Thursday, Chestnut posted video of record-breaking Big Mac mastication to YouTube, calmly downing 32 Big Macs in less than 40 minutes from the comfort of his own kitchen. Jordan, Brady, Serena, Tiger, Chestnut. That's it. That's the list. If you disagree, just feast your eyes on this.

It's at once majestic and repulsive. You're horrified but you can't look away. This is a man so completely at the top of his game that once you start watching, you forget how icky the game actually is. This should sound very familiar to the NFL fans in the audience. When all is said and done and the last shred of iceberg lettuce is slurped up, Chestnut tallies up his feat:

Truly a GOAT-level performance. If you want to break it down even further (and are familiar with the construction of McDonald's leaning tower of pleasure), that's 96 buns, 64 beef patties, and 32 slices of something resembling cheese at a rate of about 1.16 Big Macs per minute. The first Big Mac, for what it's worth, goes down in about 15 seconds. Imagine eating a Big Mac in 15 seconds. Now imagine eating 31 more after that. Now go order a salad. Lord knows Joey should.

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