Newsflash for you, folks: Life is about the finer things (mostly because everything else is so terrible it would suffocate you if you thought about it for more than five seconds at a time, but I digress). For some, that means fresh Pro V1s and an afternoon "dentist" appointment. For others, it's scotch that sets off smoke detectors and whatever new Apple gadget adults are pulling each other's hair out for in Best Buy parking lots across America. Never before has hot sauce—despite being pretty much its own food group—set foot in the finer things pantheon, but thanks to Tabasco, that ends today.
Behold the Tabasco Diamond Reserve Red Sauce, a scintillating elixir crafted for the celebrated Louisiana spice purveyor's 150th birthday. Sourced exclusively from Tabasco's Avery Island compound, the Diamond Reserve features peppers hand-selected for their "superior color, texture, and robustness," which are then broken down, mashed with salt, and barrel aged up to 15 years. The sauce is then mixed with sparkling white wine vinegar and bottled in miniature, gold-foiled champagne bottles, for maximum Finer Things quotient.
The super-duper-limited-edition spice syrup runs about $35 for 6 oz, so you probably don't want to splash it on any old scrambled egg, but if just you're looking to class up taco night or sip it neat (idk, people are freaks), the Diamond Reserve's "exceptional complexity"—at least according the sauce sommeliers over at Tabasco—is everything you need and probably much, much more.