Here at The Loop, we see unbelievably bad sports tattoos every day. It's just one of the many crosses we bear in our effort to bring you the most random sports content on the internet. For example...
That said, we have never seen anything or anyone quite like Maurício dos Anjos, a 33-year-old fan of Brasileirão soccer club Flamenco, who recently got his team's jersey tattooed across his ENTIRE FREAKING TORSO. But don't worry, at least his nipples don't look weird now or anything (just kidding, they look superrrrr weird):
Requiring over 32 sessions and 90 hours—plus the sale of a motorcycle to raise funds, because obviously this dude had a motorcycle—the permanent Flamenco home strip was completed over the course of several months, during which time, according to an interview with Vice, dos Anjos had a falling out with the original tattoo artist for one of probably 500 pretty obvious reasons and was forced to repeatedly assure his young children that he wasn't mortally wounded every time he came home from another grueling session bandaged like a leper king.
When asked if he, at any stage, had any regrets, dos Anjos said no, but come on, what else are you gonna say when you just had a soccer jersey permanently stained onto your flesh?
Apart from the whole tattoo thing, however, dos Anjos comes across as a reasonably run-of-the-mill sports fanatic/family man, raising some very real questions about why, of all the mid-life crises he could have picked off the shelf, he went with the only one he can't take back. Seriously man, next time just get a Prince Albert and call it a day.